my heart aches

and i don't know when i will be happy again. we found out this week i am in the midst of a miscarriage. i have no words for how i feel. we were supposed to be 8 weeks along. i have yet to completely miscarry and have to most likely go in for a procedure (d & c) next week. thankfully i have had to stay busy with new teacher orientation but coming home is absolutely dreadful. i am so sad and wonder if i'll ever be the old me. someone once said "death is not the worst thing that can happen to a person, what is worse is what dies within you." i now understand this. i feel empty. cj can't help, neither can my parents, and my sweet friends, who all have been wonderful in their own ways, can't help either. i feel numb. so numb.

that's all. maybe someday soon i'll post of our wonderful trip in belize, when we were celebrating being parents.

Canning!

This summer I decided I would try to do some canning. My mom and I used to make jam when I was little. Whenever I get a "wild hair" to do something I go all the way. I couldn't just make organic raspberry jam, I had to make organic blackberry and strawberry jams as well. I am also making three different kinds of pickles, jalapeno jelly, and tomato basil sauce. A lot of the ingredients are from our garden and yard. I picked 4 lbs of blackberries from our field! I was determined to make these organic and local. All of the veggies/fruits are either grown in my yard or from a local organic farmer. I am very happy to support local farmers all the while keeping my friends and family healthy!

I will post more pictures soon. I have only taken a few~ enjoy and let me know if you want some jam ;-)

One of eight jars of raspberry jam

Some of the blackberries I picked

Me after picking a lot of blackberries :)